Avoid these top 3 mindset mistakes and transform your life today!
In my work, I come across a lot of misperceptions when it comes to manifesting. Good, honest, hardworking people doing their best and then being blindsided by these humbling and common social beliefs around manifesting. These mindset mistakes can undo all your hard work and leave you standing still. Manage to shake them and abundance will flow into your life.
Before we dive right in, let me give you the quick and dirty on manifesting. Everything in the Universe is energy…EVERYTHING! YOU are a walking, talking magnet.
Thoughts create feelings, and feelings generate a vibe, a beacon… So, what you attract is a combination of your conscious (5%) and subconscious (95%) beliefs. Like attracts like, simple.
Discover the top 3 mindset mistakes to avoid, and, as a result, how to improve your manifesting abilities now!
Mindset Mistake # 1
“If I think good thoughts, good things will happen.”
The first of our mindset mistakes may come as a surprise, but hear me out. Having a positive attitude is a great quality to have and a heck of a good start, but understand that this is mostly superficial. Your real attitude towards things lies beneath the surface in your subconscious. Combined beliefs, conscious (5%) and subconscious (95%), are what determine the frequency of your vibration. Your vibration attracts opportunities or challenges into your life.
When you honestly look at your life, and what you desire doesn’t match your reality, there are limiting subconscious programs brewing under the surface. They are manifesting the challenges and obstacles you are facing every day.
Think of it this way – you are consciously thinking good thoughts with the power equivalent of a mouse. But your subconscious manifestations are powered by an elephant. Who do you think is going to win? You’ll often see this battle come to the surface where you’ll know better, but your feelings and behaviours tell a different story. You likely feel that you are battling within yourself, and, the truth is, you are.
If you’re uncertain of where you stand, just take an honest look at your life – there lies your answer. Check out my Reality Check worksheet for support on how to get real with your reality. So, if your life is mostly good, that’s awesome! Your conscious/subconscious are mostly in alignment! But if they are not, that’s when the ride starts getting bumpy. The fact is, the road to your dream life is clear. We are the ones who riddle it with potholes and obstacles in misdirected attempts to keep ourselves “safe” in our comfortable and known realities.
Mindset Mistake # 2
“If I’m a good person, good things will happen to me.”
The over-doers, over-givers and the selfless… God love them, but they have brought us the second of our mindset mistakes! Those kind and generous souls just give, give, give. All amazing qualities of character but here’s the rub; what I’ve discovered is that many of those loving, caring souls have a deep, dark secret. Behind closed doors, they reluctantly admit to lacking personal fulfilment, satisfaction, and self-value.
Let me be clear…
…giving and being kind is awesome and feels SO good, BUT it can become your main source of value – how you validate and recognize your worth. Giving to yourself feels shameful or guilt-ridden, and saying no to others (and yes to yourself!) feels wrong. The program that is running in the background is, in its simplified form, “I am good because I do ABC for others”.
I’ve worked with people that have kept this up unhindered for decades, but essentially, this is the equivalent of a non-renewable energy source. They have to keep giving to feel good. Eventually, they suffer burn out, are resentful, feel unappreciated, unimportant and undervalued. They look around at their lives realizing that there is little to nothing in it that reflects what THEY want. It’s always been about what other people need from them. Often when asked what they want, they have NO CLUE what their desires and passions are. Their entire life has been about what others want without questioning what they want.
After years of endless sacrifice, these people wonder why their life doesn’t reflect all the goodness they’ve put out there. In fact, often when they begin to reclaim their time and energy to include some of their own wants they are met with objection and resistance by those who they have so selflessly given too. Feelings of guilt and shame ensue followed by resentment and anger topped with feelings of being unappreciated, unvalued, unrecognized and unimportant.
So, what happened there?
They created a dynamic, a status quo for their relationships, and certain expectations were created based on experience. You’ve certainly experienced this if you’ve given an inch and then tried to take it back.
Now, there’s a huge difference between giving because you WANT to and giving because it makes you feel valuable. The latter speaks to the underlying truth that a part of you doesn’t recognize your true value without needing to do something for someone else first.
The most common reason people over-give is because they quantify their value based on what they can offer and give to others. As soon as they pull back on their giving their perception of their value instantly begins to depreciate in value and their external environment will reflect back to them this perspective. Then what happens when you want to do something for yourself… or you are sick or need to take care of your own needs, you feel bad about yourself and you begin to depreciate in value because of this belief structure…
Mindset Mistake # 3
“If I am patient and wait my turn my dreams will come true.”
Yes, patience is a virtue, however, if you believe that there is some sort of Universal ticket system where we all get a number and eventually yours will get called then my friend, you will wait a long, long time!
The truth is, everything you want that you don’t already have in your life simply exists outside of your comfort zone. You can wait and bide your time until you feel comfortably worthy of these things and release the fears around taking the next step… Or you can just expand your comfort zone (the boundary which is created by your limited perspective and fears) by shifting your perspective and releasing your fear so that it can encompass your desire. Yeah… It’s that simple!
Now I’m not saying just believe that you’re a surgeon and then walk into an O.R. without training. There a balance between expecting miracles and being reasonable. Often our perspective of what is truly possible is way understated. The Universe’s unlimited way of creating opportunities well exceeds our limited human perspective of what’s possible.
Being open, and expecting a miracle without getting involved in the “how”, is a good vibration to be in to receive what you desire. By upgrading your perspective and freeing yourself of limiting fear, you expand your field of vision. You will increase your comfort zone to include previously unattainable opportunities.
…when I say, you’d be surprised what is already sitting on your doorstep if you simply shifted your perspective on what’s possible. Patiently waiting for a knock on the door is not going to “earn” you the right to your dreams, opening the door will.
So, what does this all mean, and how does it unfold in real life? I once had a boss who would always mock our colleague for her “rose-coloured glasses”. She resented the fact that this person got the bigger office, more support, and always seemed to get what she wanted from management. Now, our team brought in more revenue than our colleague so, by rights, it “should” have been the reverse. However, my friend with the rose-coloured glasses was in alignment and had a perspective of being worthy of her desires without fear of asking for them. She reaped the rewards of her manifestations.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my boss’ resentment continued to offer her the short end of the stick, energetically telling the Universe that having “that” is bad. Like the eye of the storm all that she resented others for having she was void in receiving. She had “waited her turn”, volunteered heavily, worked hard yet still struggled to receive the benefits that the girl with the rose-coloured glasses acquired so effortlessly.
Rose-coloured glasses – your must-have accessory!
I didn’t quite understand at the time the law of attraction and the power of belief, but I did know one thing, I wanted in, and so began the search for my own pair of rose-coloured glasses, and I tell you, it’s pretty sunny on this side of the glass!
So, in short, if you don’t like what you see and your conscious beliefs are on the up and up, then you need to take a look at your subconscious programs and see which ones aren’t working for you anymore. You’re not broken, just like any software, you just need an upgrade, pure and simple.
Again, here’s my Reality Check worksheet if you want to see where you might be out of alignment.
Anik J. Malenfant
Transformational Mentor, Educator & Speaker