The endless why – do YOU know the answer?

by | Jan 12, 2022 | Ego, Emotion, Mental Health, Mindset, Transformation

Do you ever ask yourself, why did I say that? Why did I do that? Or, why do I feel this way? Do you feel like your actions have been hijacked by something other than your conscious mind?

These reactions, or lack thereof, make us question “why did I/ didn’t I ___?” and come from deep within us. They are your current response programs, firmly rooted in your subconscious mind…

And unlike your analytical/conscious mind, your subconscious mind has a very different priority hierarchy; if you don’t understand the mechanics of it, these responses can seem irrational, and in a sense, you’d be right! The subconscious is simply responsive and reactive in nature.

How does understanding this influence your everyday life? In every way! Your subconscious mind drives 95% of everything you are experiencing.

For years, I’ve been passionate about exploring consciousness, how it drives our life experiences and how the Universe and quantum physics play a role in this. I discovered something really interesting after years of study, self-discovery and facilitating thousands of hours of self-development and healing.

Understanding yourself

I learnt that when you can understand yourself and what’s at the core of your challenging experiences you can better self-regulate and heal. You learn to hear (and heed!) those emotional messengers.

And when you improve your situation through this awareness:

moment by moment,

day by day,

week by week,

you are transforming your life as a whole.

Higher levels of joy are your new normal, self-acceptance arrives with more ease and supportive, positive relationships surround you.

These words and actions that come from within may feel foreign to you but they are emotional messengers; once we learn to tap into them, they can give us key insights into how we truly feel and why we feel this way.

Let’s get to work!

Here’s what I want you to try and let me know how you make out.

First, understand that your reactive thoughts and feelings are an automatic response that is not necessarily following the same rules and understanding as your conscious perspective. Meaning, your subconscious has its own set of rules, priorities, and coping mechanisms, as well as emotional/physical reactions, and they either match with those of your conscious mind or they don’t. Your subconscious systems manifest in words and actions that may surprise us and not seem to be on the same page as we feel we are.

When they are congruent, your systems run like a well-oiled machine, but when the subconscious and conscious aren’t on the same page… THAT’S where the seed your problems stem from. That inner conflict wreaks havoc both in your inner world and your external one. Those emotional messages cause conflict (internal and external) and make us feel out of control because we weren’t able to hear their reasoning.

Tears and tantrums

When you witness a grown adult, maybe even yourself, having a toddler tantrum, that is a prime example of how those foundational programs are in conflict with your desired outcome and are subtly influencing every moment of your life behind the scenes. Understanding these situations helps reveal the conflict within the conscious/subconscious minds so they can be addressed and resolved.

When you take a moment to pay attention, you’ll notice you judge your feelings and your responses with your rational mind.

Remembering, the subconscious mind is responsive, NOT rational. The moment you subject your subconscious response to your conscious perspective… it’s game over. The judgement of your feelings amplifies the inner disharmony by triggering additional unwanted emotions often like shame, blame, guilt or fear.


Instead, I want you to think about your emotions in a different way than you were likely indoctrinated into i.e., good feelings are good, and bad feelings are bad.

Emotional messengers

What I’ve learnt about emotions is they are just messengers, think of it as simple data or information packets. Don’t shoot the messenger! They are not good or bad, they are your emotional and physiological response based on your current subconscious perspective of the situation. These emotions are loaded with wisdom about what is really going on deep inside you and is asking to be resolved.

What your “negative” emotions (or lack thereof) are trying to tell you is that on the subconscious level there’s a conflict with what you are experiencing based on your subconscious programming. If that situation is in fact what you also consciously don’t want then the software is doing its job in many circumstances. If it’s different from what you want, then that’s where taking the time for exploration will really pay off.

Your subconscious programming is also neither good nor bad, it’s just software. The programs are either supportive or non-supportive. I’m sure you’re asking yourself why in the world would my subconscious create programs that work against me and my conscious desires? Believe me, I asked myself the same thing and it fuelled my curiosity about how the mind truly works.

Let’s play with this. What emotions have been coming up for you lately that keep nagging?

Looking back at your life, what emotional patterns can you recognize that are holding you back?

Based on your experiences, how often do your thoughts, feelings and behaviours conflict with your conscious desires? For example, you want to move forward, but your inner critic has other ideas.

Addressing negative emotions:

The next time you have an emotional response or experience that is contrary to what you want, I invite you to explore addressing it differently.

Simply observe and recognize the emotion as a little data packet of wisdom about your inner state of conscious/subconscious alignment.


Feeling guilt, don’t judge it… explore it.

Connect with the emotion and simply ask… Tell me more…

Move into a state of stillness and non-judgmental observation of what rises to the surface.

When you feel your mental gears turning, that’s your mind engaging, trying to use its own understanding and analyze the emotion.  (Hint: your emotions are intended to be irrational, so your rational mind isn’t helpful here! 😉 )

Use your breath to bring you back into stillness. Let yourself get comfortable in the (sometimes uncomfortable) silence of the unknown and remain in a state of presence and open curiosity.

When the next feeling arises… explore it….. Oh, look! Frustration… that’s interesting… tell me more…

Continue to repeat this process, like moving through the layers of a tiramisu until a thought, image, or sensation rises to the surface and then explore how that experience might be related to your current experience.

Where else do you feel or have you experienced similar feelings?

Are you listening?

At first, it might seem like a trying task; it might feel frustrating, but I want you to keep at it; just like riding a bike, the first time might be wobbly. Continue to take a few minutes here and there when emotional triggers arise and very soon you will notice being able to do this process with more ease. You will start to tap into those emotional messengers, understand what they are trying to show you and, as such, deepen your understanding of the inner workings of the self.

As you explore this process, you’ll witness those unwanted emotions disintegrate before your eyes. You’ll begin to better gently uncover the source of those triggers and take your power back.

Emotional awareness is a powerful tool for healing and self-development but it needs one thing to work… your unbiased awareness.

If you are curious about how to better understand yourself, what your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are trying to share with you, I urge you to do so. Knowing and understanding yourself is key to creating the life you truly desire.

When you are ready to let go of what’s holding you back and break through your proverbial glass ceiling, let me know and we can step into the waters of self-growth together.

Your Dream Life Advocate,


P.S. I hope you’re enjoying the newly revamped site. If you haven’t checked out my new resources section yet, come right this way!



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