Have you ever noticed how people experiencing similar circumstances react completely differently? Have you found yourself losing your mind, rushing into anger, or feeling lost and depressed? If so, these quick tips will help you stay calm, cool, and collected when the chaos of life comes knocking.
Conquer your natural response
One of the main reasons we lose our cool is because we lose control of our emotions. The experience awakens within us something that is fearful in nature. We are triggered into our natural fight, flight or freeze response.
One of the tools that I use to stay cool in the chaos is to claim the position of observer to the situation that is unfolding before me. It doesn’t suppress my fears or triggers (I think that’s unhealthy) but allows me to assess the situation while seeing it from a higher perspective. In short, it helps me to keep my head about it. It helps me to leverage my grace under pressure when the so-called shit hits the fan.
This, of course, didn’t happen overnight. It takes practice and I’ve made some radical shifts to my way of being. But now, these instances are progressively fewer and farther apart.
Key realizations
Here are some key realizations I had that help me to stay calm within the chaos for you to contemplate for yourself.
1) You get to choose how much or how little you want to engage with the situation.
2) No matter how fierce the storm, there is always an eye of the hurricane, find that eye and manage your experience from that space. (Hint: it lives within you.)
3) Salt doesn’t sting unless there is an open wound – Healing your wounds is a proactive way to avoid triggers in the first place.
4) Nothing is happening TO you. You are experiencing life, not the other way around.
5) Being clear on your priorities. Often simply asking yourself: “Does this behaviour/choice bring me closer to joy?” is the simplest way to diffuse a situation.” (The meme “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy” comes to mind.)
This isn’t a quick fix, but if it can make a dent in the chaos you experience, it was worth the share. In the grand scheme, the most important thing you can do is to break up with the stuff in your life that creates turmoil in the first place. I’m not saying quit your job, or leave your spouse (unless that’s appropriate for you). What I’m getting at is that I’ve been purging the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that do not reflect my inner joy junky and the life I want to lead. The results have been fantastic and I want the same for you!
My experience
The landscape of my life has changed dramatically in the last 10 years and I know that it’s directly related to the inner work that I’ve been doing. There is no doubt for me that everything I experience is somehow seeded within me. Exactly how sometimes is the inner journey, but I’ve come to appreciate each experience. Not always during the moment BUT in reflection. This shows me and guides me deeper and deeper into the depth of my authentic being.
What do you need to heal or break up with to satisfy your inner joy junky?
Stay calm, cool, and collected, and if you need a helping hand, I’m here to guide you,
Anik
