Do you ever feel like you’re going in circles with the same challenges and wondering why certain patterns keep haunting you? We’ve all been there. It could be a subtle habit of making fun of yourself before others can or turning down a great opportunity to avoid feeling like an imposter. Either way, let me tell you this: it’s not that you aren’t “trying hard enough.” In fact, it’s because a part of you is working hard—but in all the wrong ways.
Now, this isn’t some “everything happens for a reason” message to let you off the hook or give you a reason to avoid growth. Sure, maybe everything does happen for a reason—but for you to step into true empowerment, you need to distinguish between ego-based fears and soul-led guidance.
It’s essential to develop the intuitive discernment to tell the difference.
Your subconscious creates problems for a purpose, but when that purpose is rooted in old fears, outdated beliefs, or ego-based protection, then it’s not in soul alignment or divine timing. It’s just an old coping mechanism keeping you stuck in a misguided attempt to keep you safe rather than moving forward.
This article is about empowering you to get to the heart of those patterns and not let them keep you stuck. Keep reading to learn why your subconscious creates these problems and, more importantly, how you can address them. You’ll discover the underlying patterns at the root of the issue and learn to transform these to lift you up instead.
The Misguided Protector: When “Help” Holds You Back
Think of those moments when you are holding yourself back or “getting in your own way.” You’ve done the inner work and peeled back layers of self-doubt or perfectionism, but the same problems keep popping up. I imagine you’re frustrated, desperate to move forward, and wondering, why aren’t you getting somewhere?
Because your subconscious mind is clinging to old patterns that it thinks are protecting you but are actually holding you back.
I’m sure you’ve lived this or seen it play out time and time again: you get an incredible opportunity, but instead of diving in, you feel overcome with a wave of dread instead. You convince yourself you’re “not ready” or that someone else would do a better job. In that moment, your subconscious steps in, and tries to shield you from the fears of expanding into unknown and unfamiliar territory. It’s trying to guard you from the fear of failure and loss. But the strategy? It’s a dated coping mechanism that’s no longer effective. It doesn’t keep you safe, but instead confines you to the perceived safety of the status quo.
Common Self-Protection Patterns
Here are some common examples of how your subconscious might be “helping” you in ways that no longer serve:
- Self-Deprecation to Avoid Criticism: You joke about your own flaws, calling yourself out before anyone else can. The purpose? To shield yourself from the sting of external judgement by getting there first.
- Sabotaging Opportunities: You’ve worked hard, but when a big chance comes along, you somehow convince yourself to say no. Your subconscious might be protecting you from failure—or even the risk of success that could disrupt your comfort zone.
- Pushing People Away: You want deep connections, but the fear of vulnerability drives you to sabotage relationships. It feels “safer” to pull away than to risk being hurt.
These examples show that your subconscious is trying to protect you, but unfortunately, in ways that may have helped in the past but now cause you pain or keep you from growth. It’s like the overbearing parent who won’t let their child explore the world. Sure, they might seem safer, but without letting them dive in, they won’t develop the skills they need to reach their full potential.
Pull the Root: Stop Skimming the Surface
When it comes to growth, it’s natural to focus on the symptoms instead of stepping back, looking at the bigger picture, and getting to the core of the issue. Your self-care routine helps you “manage” the symptoms, but without understanding the purpose behind the problem, those patterns keep coming back.
This is where having a deep understanding of how you tick becomes essential. You’re not just treating symptoms here; you’re digging down to find the root cause and transform it. To truly shift, you need to upgrade your subconscious software with a new strategy to achieve your goal without causing havoc in your life.
Find the Purpose Behind Your Patterns
So how do you do this? The key is to understand the purpose behind these patterns and ask your subconscious what it’s really trying to protect you from.
Here’s a simple practice you can try: grab a paper and pen and see what arises:
- Identify a Recurring Pattern
Think of a behaviour that’s shown up repeatedly—a self-protective habit like self-deprecation, avoiding opportunities, or pulling away in relationships. - Ask Yourself the “Why”
With a compassionate mindset, ask yourself, “What purpose is this pattern serving? What is it trying to protect me from?” Take a moment to listen to whatever thoughts, feelings, or memories arise. Maybe it’s shielding you from the vulnerability of trying and failing or from the risk of rejection. - Thank This Part of You
Even if this pattern feels frustrating, acknowledge the intention behind it. Thank this part of yourself for its effort to protect you, even if it’s outdated. This simple act of gratitude helps you relate to your patterns with compassion instead of resistance. - Plant New Beliefs
Now, visualize planting a new belief or intention that supports you. Maybe you need to remind yourself, “It’s safe to succeed,” or “I trust myself to navigate challenges.” Picture this new belief taking root, creating space for growth instead of limitation.
Unlocking a New Level of Freedom
When you address the purpose behind your patterns, you create room for true transformation. No more snipping off symptoms and wondering why they keep coming back. Instead, you’re freeing yourself to step forward without outdated protections, upgrading your patterns for the highest outcome. It’s time to address this inner conflict, create inner harmony and get all parts of yourself on the same page. You’ll be amazed how much smoother it is to claim your goals when you are working with, instead of against, yourself.
This is the heart of what I teach in the ThetaHealing Seminars and the depth of inner work we explore in my private coaching practice. Together, you’ll go beyond managing symptoms, address the root purpose behind your patterns, and nurture new seeds that truly serve you.
Ready to dig deep and pull those roots? Join me, and let’s finally break that cycle together.
