Healing Rejection

by | Nov 9, 2019 | Uncategorized

We’ve all felt rejection

As you can imagine, in my work, healing rejection, loss, guilt, regret, and feelings of inadequacy comes up a lot! I bet if you take a moment, you can easily stir up an experience where you fear rejection or felt rejected.
In fact, fear of rejection is one of the top reasons you hold yourselves back from stepping out into what you really want. You might think to yourself… I don’t care what people think… and on a conscious level that might be true. But your subconscious, the mind who governs your deepest belief patterns, feelings, and behaviours, sure as hell does. It’s drawing from its own hierarchy of needs. Your subconscious is focused on avoiding actual or perceived risk/pain (no matter how unlikely), sometimes at all costs.
I’ve witnessed myself and so many others talk themselves out of opportunities because of the powerful undercurrent that these foundational programs subtly wield over our conscious selves. Moving from excitement into self-doubt, feeling “guided” to change their minds, or flat-out sabotaging themselves out of a good thing. That’s where discernment between your intuition and instinct is essential, more on that in my past article here.
In the last few weeks, I’ve seen some powerful healings and transformations unfold and I began to contemplate the human struggle with perceived inadequacy.  How do we better overcome this fear of rejection, unworthiness, and lack of self-acceptance?

An unlikely answer

The answer rose from the depth of my being…….
By making peace with incompatibility.
Could it be? Actually accepting rejection? Are you nuts?!  I questioned it at first, then I explored it further…
Yes!  What if… we made peace with the undeniable truth that there will always be something or someone that will not be in alignment with us, where we are at, and what we need.  And instead of our current paradigm of rejection, unworthiness, disappointment, and inadequacy we adjusted our perception to interpreted it simply as incompatibility instead of lack or rejection?
Imagine the future pains avoided completely by recognizing loss, change or “rejection” as a simple statement of incompatibility.  When I sat with this realization, it totally changed how I saw and felt about rejection.
We don’t blame the Samsung charger for being incompatible with your iPhone?
Of course not!
Why do we blame ourselves or others when relationships evolve/devolve, feel disappointment when our assumptions aren’t satisfied, or feel guilty for saying NO?
When we move into a space of non-judgmental acceptance with incompatibility, we are releasing ourselves from the self-imposed oppression of fear of rejection, we are making peace with our past pains, and we are clearing the road to deep self-acceptance.

Challenge time!

Here’s my challenge for you:
This week, adjust your vision from rejection to incompatibility and see how you feel that might be different than before.
Explore what wounds you are able to heal with this simple shift.  And identify how this small change in your perception transforms how you might react differently then in past situations.
If you are curious to learn more about how to recognize the undercurrents of your subconscious patterns that are holding you back.
Your humble guide,
Anik J. Malenfant

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